Delightful
by thecarouselneverstopsturning
Summary: What if Monica was the one who was pregnant and not Rachel? Chandler does not freak out and sneak out. A collaborate story with a very kind reviewer. Please R&R! C/M, J/R, M/P :) I am discontinuing this one too.
1. Prologue

**I really wanted to write this despite my large amount of stories and school work. LOL enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Own nothing, uh huh nothing. Just a thirteen year old girl writing stories about her favorite tv show on this snowy evening. Though some dialogue is taken from the actual episode.**

 _ **Summary: Set during S7, a day before her and Chandler's wedding Monica finds out something shocking.(Don't worry it's Mondler's baby, not the Lobsters baby)**_

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]

 **Monica:** Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll all be here in the coffee house as six single people?

 **Phoebe:** Why?! What's happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)

 **Chandler:** Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the mrs. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.

 **Monica:** Old?

 **Chandler:** The young hot ball and chain.

 **Monica:** That's much better.

 **Rachel:** (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)

 **Ross:** Oh, where are you guys going?

 **Monica:** We're gonna pick up the wedding dress, then we're gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)

 **Ross:** Ah. Joey, you're-you're having lunch with my mom?

 **Joey:** No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)

 **Ross:** (To Chandler) Y'know what? Actually I'm kinda glad they're leaving 'cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.

 **Chandler:** What's up?

 **Ross:** Well this uh, this may be a little awkward.

 **Chandler:** Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.

 **Ross:** No, its…Its not that. Umm, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm **not** saying as your friend. Okay? I'm-I'm saying as it as Monica's older brother.

 **Chandler:** But you're still my friend?

 **Ross:** Not for the next few minutes.

 **Chandler:** During this time…are you, are you still my best man?

 **Ross:** Nope.

 **Chandler:** Do I still call you Ross?

 **Ross:** Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? I'm-I'm-I'm serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) Come—Hey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? I'm-I'm not kidding here!

 **Chandler:** (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.

 **Ross:** No problem.

 **Chandler:** So are we…friends again?

 **Ross:** Yeah.

 **Chandler:** Okay. (Pause) You won't **believe** what Monica's older brother just said to me!

Back at the apartment after lunch...

Monica stared at the positive pregnancy test in her hands. She threw it away and came in the kitchen saying "Throw out the garbage everyday"

"I'm gonna go to work now" Monica left.

Then two hours later only Rachel and Phoebe were in the apartment,

"Let's go throw out the trash" Phoebe suggested then they went into the bathroom but as they were cleaning out the trashcan. Phoebe noticed a positive pregnancy test.

"Oh my god!" Pheobe exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant." Phoebe explained.

"Oh my God!" Rahcel recited back.

"I know! Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?" Phoebe clapped her hands together.

"Oh my God!" Rachel kept on saying.

(spoken by Phoebe) "Hey, do you think this is why Chandler and her decided to get married?"

(spoken by Rachel) "No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night and I know Monica made a point to have the trash taken out every night."

(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay, Rach, we can not tell anyone we know about this."

(spoken by Rachel) "Right."

(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay?"

(spoken by Rachel) "Yeah, okay."

(spoken by Phoebe) "Good. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?"

(spoken by Rachel) "No. Why?"

(spoken by Phoebe) "Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it."

They threw Monica's positive pregnancy test back into the trash can then came in to see Joey rummaging for food.

"Hi there Hotty" Rachel wrapped her arms around her boyfriend.

"We've just found out something" Rachel said.

Phoebe nods when Rachel mouths asking if they should tell.

"Someones pregnant'" Rachel stated.

"Wha- you pregnant Rach? I can't be a daddy just yet" Joey asked nerviously.

"No Joey I'm not pregnant though I wish I was" Rachel explained.

"Then who is?" Joey questioned.

"Monica's pregnant" Phoebe clarifed.

"Oh my god! Chandler and her are having a baby. This is so big!" Joey exclaimed.

"I know! We can't tell anyone yet, okay?" Rachel answered.

"Okay" Joey and Phoebe agreed.

"Now that the three of us know, let's go to Central Perk and forget this ever happened. What do you say?" Phoebe suggested.

"Ya let's go" Joey, Phoebe and Rachel left.

At the coffee house the trio sat discussing what they just found out.

"Chandler and Monica are having a baby. This is so big" Phoebe enthusiastically said.

"Do you know how he knocked her up?" Joey asked horny.

"Joey!" Rachel slapped her boyfriend in the shoulder.

"Soon we'll have lots of Baby Bings" Phoebe states.

"What are you guys talking 'bout?" Ross asked.

"Oh god! Don't scare us like this ever again" Rachel slapped her ex-boyfriend upside the head.

That evening at the rehearsal...

(Phoebe and Rachel walk up to the soon to be married couple and parents.)

 **Rachel:** Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!

 **Chandler:** Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)

 **Ross:** (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.

 **Monica:** What is that?

 **Ross:** Well I…I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)

 **Phoebe:** Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)

(Chandler's Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)

 **Chandler:** Hi.

 **Mrs. Bing:** Chandler!

 **Chandler:** Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (She's wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)

 **Mrs. Bing:** Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon there'll be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)

 **Mrs. Geller:** (shaking her hand) It's lovely to meet you.

 **Mr. Geller:** (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?

 **Mrs. Geller:** Jack!

 **Mr. Geller:** What?! I've never seen one before!

 **Monica:** Dad! There's Ross (points), why don't you go talk to him?

(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)

 **Mr. Geller:** I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it!

 **Mr. Bing:** (entering) Hello all!

 **Chandler:** Hi…dad.

 **Monica:** Hi Mr.…Bing.

 **Mr. Bing:** Nora!

 **Mrs. Bing:** Charles.

 **Monica:** It-it's so great to see you both here.

 **Mr. Bing:** Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?

 **Mrs. Bing:** Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?

 **Chandler:** Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)

[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]

 **Mr. Geller:** …of course you can kick his ass son.

 **Mrs. Geller:** You could kick anyone's ass you want to.

 **Ross:** Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)

[Cut to Monica.]

 **Monica:** Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would you talk to Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?

 **Rachel:** Yeah! But I don't know what he looks like!

 **Monica:** He is the man in the black dress.

 **Rachel:** Man in the black dress… (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's!

 **Woman:** I'm Amanda.

 **Rachel:** Oh I get it! A…man…duh!

 **Ross:** (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyone's attention please? I'm uh; I'm Ross Geller.

 **Mr. Geller:** **Doctor** Ross Geller.

 **Ross:** Dad…dad, please! As I was saying umm, I'm Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and I'm the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple we're here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.

 **All:** To the Bings!

(Everyone clinks glasses and Chandler freaks out again.)

Rachel and Phoebe ask Monica "How are you feeling?"

"Woozy, my heads off the wall and uh-oh" Monica said oblivious to the fact the two girls and Joey know about her pregnancy. She then ran to the bathroom to throw up.

"She's definitely pregnant" Phoebe whispered to Rachel.

"I can't believe her and Chandler are gonna have a baby" Rachel gushed silently.

Then Joey came up to the podium to give a practice speech.

"I'd like to propose a toast to Chandler and Monica. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will." No one in the room laughs; he starts to get flustered. "Okay. I've known Chandler for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first real serious girlfriend..." Chandler looks embarrassed. "...and I thought things were going to work out for him... until the day he over inflated her." he laughs. Charles looks at Nora and no one in the room laughs. "Oh, Dear God..."

"And I know everyone will agree with me that the love Chandler and Monica share with each other has truly enriched the days of our lives." Nobody laughs at the reference "Oh, come on! 'Days of Our Lives'! One of its biggest stars appearing before your very eyes! Come on, people! All right, forget it! Congratulations, Chandler and Monica." He sits down.

"That was beautiful" Rachel hugged her boyfriend.

Monica then emerged from the bathroom, missing the speech. She took a sip of a drink not knowing that it is wine.

"Somebody get this away from me!" Monica screeched quietly.

Rachel took it away from her and asked "Hun you okay?"

"Fine" Monica replied.

"Definitely. Mon's pregnant" Rachel whispered to Joey and Phoebe.

That evening, back at the apartment Monica is in the bathroom and Chandler is listening to their messages.

"Mon!" Chandler called out.

"I'm in the bathroom" Monica called back out. She didn't want Chandler to know they are having a baby just yet. It would probably freak him out more then what everything is now.

Then she came out and wrapped her arms around him...

 **Monica:** Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow we'll be getting married?

 **Chandler:** Wait a minute! I have a **date** tomorrow night.

 **Monica:** I just, I can't believe that we made it!

 **Chandler:** Well you don't have to sound so surprised.

 **Monica:** I'm sorry but…nothing.

 **Chandler:** What?

 **Monica:** Well…honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to.. to flip you out.

 **Chandler:** Honestly? Me too.

 **Monica:** Really?

 **Chandler:** Yeah. Y'know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I'll go all…Chandler. But nothing has.

 **Monica:** Ohh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it's really, it's made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!

 **Monica:** You okay now? (Chandler nodded) Good come into bed with me.

(She starts to take off his tie and he starts to unzip her dress)

 **Chandler:** Okay. I'll be right there.

(She enters the bedroom and as Chandler takes off his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)

 **Monica:** (voice on answering machine) Hi! If you're calling before Saturday, you've reached Monica and Chandler. But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!

(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)

 _TBC..._

 **A very kind reviewer decided to collaborate with me on this story, anyone else who wants to join in can PM me or state in a review. Thanx! Yes Joey and Rachel are a couple in this, they got together in 7x14 after she broke it with Tag. Longest prologue I've ever writen before. I feel so proud of myself :^)**


	2. Lovebirds

**I'm gonna do the second part of the weddding then all the lovely collaborators start at 8x01, unless you want to do the wedding. On with the story**

 _writerchic30: Sure just make an account and PM me._

[Mondler's apartment. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]

 **Monica:** All right, I'm gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?

 **Rachel:** I'll do it.

 **Monica:** Who wants it? Anybody?

 **Rachel:** I said I'll do it!

 **Monica:** Nobody wants to do it? All right, I'll do it myself.

 **Rachel:** Monica! I'm not gonna screw it up!

 **Monica:** Y'know what? You're right, I'm sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.

 **Rachel:** Well of course that is what I'm here for!

 **Monica:** Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom to throw up)

 **Rachel:** Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?

 **Phoebe:** Mon's totally pregnant

 **Rachel:** I know. Chandler and her are getting married. Then having a baby, what a fairytale!

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]

 **Joey:** Hey! Where have you been?

 **Ross:** Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.

 **Joey:** Oh.

 **Ross:** What? Are you going back to work?

 **Joey:** Yeah.

 **Ross:** Nice shades.

 **Joey:** Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I won't get spit in the eyes, y'know?

 **Ross:** And if I remember correctly, _Ray Ban_ was the official sponsor of World War I!

 **Joey:** Great! All right. I'll see you later. (He starts to leave.)

 **Ross:** Hey, where's Chandler?

 **Joey:** Uh, I think he's in Rachel's room. See ya. (Exits.)

[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]

 **Richard:** Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (He's holding a script.)

 **Joey:** Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!

 **Richard:** Just the last two pages.

 **Joey:** Alright.

(They go onto the set.)

 **Richard:** I found the picture!

(He's still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)

 **Joey:** Picture? What picture?

 **Richard:** Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.

 **Joey:** Okay uh, look I know you're a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff…

 **Richard:** Oh, thanks.

 **Joey:** But you're spittin' all over me man!

 **Richard:** Well of course I am!

 **Joey:** You **know** you've been spitting on me?!

 **Richard:** That's what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)

 **Joey:** (wiping face) Wow! Didn't know that.

 **Richard:** Great!

 **Joey:** Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! (Reading from the script) Picture? What picture? (He pauses then spits) Eh?

[GellerBing residence. Only Rachel and Phoebe are there]

 **Phoebe:** I can't believe the lovebirds are gonna have a baby

Rachel: I know! How far do you think she is?

 **Phoebe** : About two month's because Chandler told us that he and Monica had some wild sex the night Joey got the soapie.

 **Rachel** : Eww Pheebs!

Then they hear the door open.

Mondler enter the apartment and he's kissing her neck.

 **Chandler:** Mon I can't wait until we get married in a few hours. I love you so much.

 **Monica** : I love you so much too.

The lovebirds then start to kiss.

 **Phoebe** :(in a whisper) And they are gonna have a baby too!

 **Ross** : Eww guys!

 **Rachel** : Aww they love each other so much!

[Scene: Ross enters the coffee house]

 **Ross:** Well then, we'll-we'll see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (They're sitting by the window.) What-what…what you guys doing here?!

 **Mr. Geller:** Well, you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about.

 **Mrs. Geller:** I certainly see why the girls like coming here.

 **Ross:** Why?!

 **Mrs. Geller:** The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)

 **Ross:** (shocked) Gunther?!

 **Mr. Geller:** Your mother just added him to her list.

 **Ross:** What? Your-your list?

 **Mrs. Geller:** Yeah, the list that—of people we're allowed to sleep…

 **Ross:** Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I'm looking for him?

 **Mr. Geller:** And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.

(Ross points at him and exits.)

[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]

 **The Director:** Action!

 **Richard:** I found the picture!

 **Joey:** What picture?!

 **Richard:** The picture of my wife! In your pack!

 **Joey:** You went through my personal property?

 **Richard:** Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!

 **Joey:** (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!

 **The Director:** Cut! Wonderful!

(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)

 **Joey:** Great scene yeah?

 **Richard:** Oh you're awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.

 **Joey:** Thanks a lot.

 **The Assistant Director:** (To Joey) Here's your call sheet for tomorrow.

 **Joey:** Oh, I'm-I'm not working tomorrow.

 **The Assistant Director:** You are now.

 **Joey:** No! No! I can't! You gotta get me out of it! I've got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)

(The AD walks away wiping his face.)

[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]

 **Joey:** I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!

 **Richard:** That can be arranged.

(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)

 **The Director:** Let's reset.

 **Joey:** What?! He got me! Owwwwww!

 **The Director:** Let's take it from there.

 **Richard:** (To Joey) Are you a little off today? It's going terribly slowly.

 **Joey:** Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And I'm the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?

 **Richard:** Of course! I'm-I'm sorry. I-I'd hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!

 **Joey:** Thank you. Thank you.

 **The Director:** Still rolling, annnnd action!

 **Joey:** I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!

 **Richard:** Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!

[Scene: The Hotel, Monica's room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]

 **Phoebe:** So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?

(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)

 **Mrs. Geller:** Here comes the bride.

(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)

 **Phoebe:** Oh my God Monica!

 **Monica:** I wanna wear this everyday.

 **Rachel:** You look so beautiful.

 **Monica:** (starting to cry) I'm so happy for me.

(Despite Monica only being about two months, a bump is already forming)

(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)

 **Rachel:** Hello?

 **Rachel:** Yeah, we got him back. Everything's fine.

 **Joey:** Damnit!

 **Rachel:** What? Why? Where are you?

 **Joey:** I'm still on the set!

 **Rachel:** Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!

 **Joey:** I know! I'm sorry! The guy's drunk, they won't let me go until we get this.

 **Rachel:** Oh my God! I'm gonna have to find another minister.

 **Joey:** No! No, I'm the minister! Alright, look-look, put 'em both on the phone, I'll marry them right now.

 **Rachel:** Ugh! Joey love, I have to go.

 **Joey:** Hey! Don't you hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power!

 **Rachel** : I love you

(She hangs up anyway.)

[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]

 **Joey:** Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guy's hammered!

 **The Director:** I'm sorry Joey, as long as he's here and he's conscious we're still shooting.

(He walks away and Joey does Ross's fist thing. He then enters Richard's dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)

 **Richard:** You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork?

 **Joey:** So I uh, I just talked to the director. That's it, we're done for the day.

 **Richard:** Well have we finished the scene?

 **Joey:** Yeah! You…you were wonderful.

 **Richard:** As were you.

 **Joey:** So I got your car, it's right outside.

 **Richard:** Why? Are we done for the day?

 **Joey:** That's what you told me.

 **Richard:** Oh, thank you. You're welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)

 **Joey:** No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a fireman's carry and carries him out.) Here we go.

 **Richard:** Is that my ass? (He's looking at Joey's.)

(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)

[Scene: In the hotel hallway. Rachel and Phoebe are talking]

(spoken by Phoebe) "Wait! Maybe-maybe you're overreacting! You do that y'know."

(spoken by Rachel) "Well, Phoebe, we gotta do something! I mean there's no way Joey's gonna make it in time. So, I'm gonna through the hotel and see if there's any other weddings going on."

(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay. Oh, but don't tell them Monica's pregnant because they frown on that."

(spoken by Rachel) "Okay."

(spoken by Phoebe) "Okay."

(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and he's so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)

 **Commercial Break**

[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]

 **Rachel:** Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {It's a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (He's wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?

 **The Rabbi:** I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox?

 **Rachel:** Yeah! Yeah. They're…they're-they're my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.

(He walks up onto the altar and notices the rabbi.)

 **The Rabbi:** Are you Chandler?

 **Chandler:** Are you Joey?

(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)

 **Ross:** Huh. This is nice.

 **Phoebe:** What?

 **Ross:** I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.

(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)

 **Mrs. Geller:** Oh I wish your grandmother had lived to see this.

 **Monica:** She's right there.

 **Mrs. Geller:** Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.

 **Mr. Geller:** I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)

(Chandler steps off the altar to greet his bride-to-be.)

 **Chandler:** You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)

 **Monica:** Not now.

 **Chandler:** Okay.

(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)

 **Monica:** (To Chandler) Who is this?

 **The Rabbi:** I am Father Kalebasous.

 **Chandler:** (in Monica's ear) He's Greek Orthodox.

 **Rachel:** (leaning in) As are you…

 **The Rabbi:** Let us begin. Dearly beloved…

 **Joey:** (entering) That's my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now, (He's still in costume) but you won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, let's get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I've known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can **not** imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room, we shall proceed to the vows. Monica?

(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)

 **Monica:** Chandler, for so long I…I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now…here we are…with our future before us…and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!

 **Joey:** Chandler?

(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)

 **Chandler:** (To Ross) No, that's okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)

 **Joey:** You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in me by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?

 **Chandler:** I do.

 **Monica:** I do.

 **Joey:** Yeah you do!

 **Ross:** Rings?

 **Joey:** Aw crap! Okay—uh…uh let's-let's do the rings.

(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each other's fingers.)

 **Joey:** We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.

(They kiss and everyone applauds.)

 **Chandler:** (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.

 **Monica:** I love you so much too and you are gonna be a great father.

 **Chandler:** And you will be a great mother.

(They kiss again. He puts his hands on her waist pulling her in a more romantic kiss)

 **Rachel** : Lovebirds and they are gonna have a baby!

 **More will be up later on okay? :^) There is three feet of snow in thr front of my house.**


	3. So in love

**Two very kind reviewers, foxstarkiller and writergurl30 decided to help collaborate with me. The first mentioned writer is writing 8x01, I put the first scene up there bc the aforementioned person has a case of writers block and I wanna add this tonight.**

The newlywed couple of Chandler and Monica are standing alone kissing in the wedding hall

"Oh my god! We did it," Monica exclaimed happily.

"We just got married... right there," Chandler happily added, pointing to the spot they got married. "And we're having a baby to boot."

"About that: exactly how did you find out that I was pregnant?"

"I overheard Phoebe and Rachel mentioning it when they were looking for a replacement minister for Joey."

"What?! Phoebe and Rachel already knew?!" Monica incredulously asked.

The other four enter.

"We already knew what?" Phoebe and Rachel simultaneously asked as they along with Rachel's boyfriend Joey and Ross entered the scene.

Monica turned to her two gal pals and demanded, "How did you two find out that I was pregnant?"

The two would've looked to each other to see which one would answer but Joey beat both of them to the punch, "They found your pregnancy test in the trash.", earning annoyed glower form Phoebe and a smack upside the head from his girlfriend.

"Thank you for that, sweetheart!" Rachel deadpanned in annoyance.

"Hold the phone! You two found out about it AND you told Joey about it?" the newlywed Geller sibling incredulously asked.

"Yes, but we all promised not tell anyone else about it," Phoebe replied.

"I'd like to point out that I was not in any way involved in this secrecy," Ross interjected.

"Yeah, whatever," the newlywed couple brushed off.

"So, you really didn't tell anybody else that I'm pregnant?" Monica needed to know.

"No, we didn't, honest," Phoebe and The Cobras honestly replied

"Well, good. Thank you for that," Monica sighed with relief. "I WAS going to tell Chandler about my pregnancy right before the reception and was hoping we'd keep it under wraps until after we got back from the honeymoon, but obviously, that's out the window."

"Oh, that's all right, Mon; I'm just glad that I know now. Knowing that you and I are having a baby is the best wedding present I could've ever asked for," Chandler sincerely said to his new wife.

"Aw, you're so wonderful," Monica cooed to her new husband.

"And so are you."

The newlywed couple locked into a passionate embrace upon saying those loving words.

"Oh, I don't need to see that!" The older Geller sibling exclaimed in disgust.

Just then, the bride and groom's parents approached the newlywed couple with happy smiles on their faces.

"Congratulations," Judy happily beamed at her daughter and new son-in-law.

"Looks who's married, and just in time I see," Jack not so subtly hinted.

"Daddy!" a slightly embarrassed Monica scolded.

"What? I can't get excited about the impending birth of my first grandchild?"

"What about Ben?" Ross incredulously asked.

"Well, of course I remember Ben; I mean my first grandchild from completely within the group here," Jack clarified. He then turned to Judy and mouthed "Wow!"

"So, tell me, how far along are you?" Charles asked.

"Only about a month," Monica replied.

"A month, that's great! Good work, son. I knew buying you your first condoms was the best thing to ever happen to you," Nora complimented and then gloated.

"Thanks, Mom," Chandler muttered in mortification.

"You're quite welcome."

Charles then asked, "So, when can we expect this one to get into show business?" Chandler and Monica stared at him incredulously. "What? I'm not going to be around forever; somebody's got to carry on my burlesque show in Vegas."

 **Alright so we have a delay tomorrow(two hours) and I was telling my mom how happy I was that I got four reviews for 'Delightful'.Within hours of publishing the story(two this morning and two this afternoon), she says I should publish it for real.**

 **XXX Peace out! Xxx ✌**


	4. No Doubt

_Authors Note: See chapter three note for collaborators. Remember there are more slots open._

Later on at the reception hall, the party is in full swing.

Chandler and Monica, having just finished their first dance without any problems, are currently sitting at table one with Phoebe.

"I've gotta say I'm really impressed by how well the both of you are taking this pregnancy," Phoebe commended. "I mean, I was honestly worried that we would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in the door when the truth got out."

"I know, right? I fee like I'm finally starting to grow up!" Chandler excitedly agreed. Then he immediately realized something. "Oh, shit!"

"What? What's wrong, Chandler?" Monica asked. "You're not getting cold feet now, are you?"

"No, it's not that; I just remembered back to when Phoebe first found out that she was pregnant with the triplets. What if you're not actually pregnant?"

"Yeah, he's right, Mon," Phoebe concurred. "When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure."

"Yes! Maybe it's a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?"

"How many ways are there to do that?" Monica asked.

"I'm-I'm just saying, don't get truly excited until you're a hundred percent sure," Phoebe suggested.

"All right, I'll-I'll take it again when I get home," Monica agreed.

"Hon, you-you gotta take it now," Chandler stated. "I mean, we're not gonna be able to have fun until we know. "

"Okay. Thank you."

"Okay."

"I'll run out and get you one," Phoebe said as she git up from her seat and left the table.

In the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table he's at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.

"Hi. I'm uh, I'm Ross. I don't, I don't believe we've met. I'm Monica's older brother."

"Oh hi, I'm, I'm Mona from her restaurant."

"Oh! Hello uh, Mona from her restaurant," Ross playfully greeted, using his card to mouth those words. An awkward pause ensued afterwards, forcing Ross to start over. "Mona, wow what a, what a beautiful name."

"You think so? I've always kinda hated it," Mona disagreed.

"Aw come on, Mona Lisa?"

"Uh-huh."

"Mona umm…Clechlachen. (A/N: I have no idea what the correct spelling of this name is; I checked the closed captions on the episode, the DVD subtitles, and an episode transcript that can be found online and each one has a different spelling of it, NONE of which I'm convinced are the correct spelling) The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no she's uh—well she's dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world."

"Really?! Well see? I never knew about her."

"Linda Clechlachen," Ross muttered to himself as he's not sure he got the name right. Another pause and then Ross asked, "So what uh, what-what table are you at?" Mona showed him her table number. "Oh, uh me too."

"Oh good. Now there'll be someone there who likes my name."

"Yes there will."

Mona went into the room, leaving Ross to search for the same table that she's sitting at.

"Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert, you've just been bumped up to table one. And if it's all right with you I'm gonna take your place at table six—Martin Clechlachen."


	5. My Love

**This was writen by a very kind reviewer.**

Meanwhile, back in the room where the reception's being held, Monica and Rachel are busy talking to some old friends as Joey entered the scene wearing a preppy tennis outfit. Rachel gushed upon seeing her boyfriend decked out in such a manner while the newlywed mother-to-be was unimpressed.

"Oh, sweet Lord," Monica deadpanned, earning a rather incredulous glare from Rachel.

"I'm sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and it's either this or a bathrobe!" Joey explained. "Look, what's more important, the way I'm dressed or me being with you on your special day?"

"Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening," Monica retorted. She then spotted Phoebe walking in with the pregnancy test she needed and called out to her, "Phoebe!"

The woman in question waved Monica over and the two sped of for the unisex bathroom with no words, leaving a dumbfounded Rachel and Joey in their wake.

Rachel then approached her boyfriend and said, "Well, I, for one, thing you look fantastic."

Joey smiled at his girlfriend and said, "Really? You do?"

"Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I've been looking for someone to help me brush up my tennis skills."

"Well, milady, you're in luck because I just so happen to be an excellent tennis instructor."

Both Cobras chuckled happily at their little flirting session and wrapped each other up in a passionate embrace.

Time lapse; the band is finishing another song.

"Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served," the bandleader announced.

Ross started his search for table six and , to his surprise, discovered that it's the kid's table. Then, he saw Mona sitting at table nine.

"Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six."

"No, nine," Mona replied, showing him the card again, right side up this time.

"Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way..." he turns her hand upside down. "...which uh, which was misleading. Well, I'm…" He went and sat down at his new table and the kids all stared at him. "Hello."

Meanwhile, in between a few sets of tables, Joey is giving Rachel a "tennis lesson" by standing behind her.

"That's better, now just bend your arms a little more," Joey instructed. Rachel, being the "model student" that she is, did as instructed. "There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it." They did a practice swing and she really put her ass into it. "Beautiful! That was perfect!"

"I know! I'm awesome!" Rachel happily exclaimed as she hugged her boyfriend lovingly.

"Hey, Rach, I got a little present for ya."

"Joey, I'm not going to stick my hand down your pants."

"No."

"No?"

"No, I've been taking dancing lessons."

"What?!"

"Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted make sure you had the best time of your life tonight."

"Ah, Joey, that's so sweet!"

"So... care to join me on the dance floor when the band starts playing again, milady?"

"I'd love to."

Meanwhile, in the unisex bathroom, Monica and Phoebe are awaiting the outcome of Monica's second test.

"How much longer?" the newlywed Geller sibling asked.

"Thirty seconds," Phoebe replied after checking her watch.

"Thirty seconds, okay," Monica whispered.

Suddenly, the door opened and Chandler entered.

"Did I miss it?" the newlywed "transpondster" asked. Phoebe shook her head no. Chandler then turned to his new wife and said, "Monica, I-I want you to know that, if it's positive, we're gonna…"

"Oh I know, I know," Monica softly responded as she lovingly hugged her new husband.

"It's time," Phoebe announced, forcing the Bings to break their embrace.

Another man started to enter, causing the trio to yell, "NO!" forcing the man to back out.

"Go ahead, Mon," Chandler said.

Monica went over to look, but then stopped herself.

"Oh, wait! Y'know what? I can't, I can't look at it. I can't. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me."

"Okay," Phoebe obliged.

"Okay."

Phoebe looked at the pregnancy test and checked the instructions to make sure. Then she said, "It's positive."

Both Monica and Chandler looked at her with hopeful looks on their faces.

"Are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes, see for yourself," Phoebe replied as she handed them both the test.

The newlywed couple both looked at it and were ecstatic to see the confirmation right in front of them.

"Oh, my God! It's really happening for us!" Monica happily exclaimed to her husband.

"We're really gonna do this!" Chandler happily exclaimed to his wife. "We're gonna have a baby."

"We're gonna have a baby," Monica parroted.

"We're gonna have a baby!" the newlywed couple happily exclaimed simultaneously.

All three immediately joined together in a group hug.

Meanwhile, back out in the reception hall, Ross is still sat at the kiddie table, reaching for something when a fart noise emanated from his chair, causing the kids to laugh.

"It was the chair again, okay? I'm not doing it!" Ross explained in annoyance.

"Dad, can't you go back to your table?" Ben asked.

"No, okay? apparently little Molly Gilbert is enjoying her grown-up salmon en croute," Ross explained as he took a bite out of his hot dog.

Finally, the band started up again, playing fox-trot. Ross saw his opportunity and started to leave his seat, but it "farted" again, causing the kids to laugh again.

"Hey, what, look, I don't... y'know what? Eh-eh…" Ross simply said as he walked away from the kiddie table.

He then headed off to table nine, over to Mona. "Hi."

"Hi!" Mona greeted back.

"Um, would you like to dance?"

"Sure."

The two got up to dance and then got interrupted by Melinda from the kiddie table.

"Dr. Geller?"

"I wasn't farting!" Ross yelled without thinking. He then turned to Mona and covered, "Uh, a little game from our table." He then turned back to Melinda and asked, "Yes?"

"Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?" Melinda asked.

"Oh. Um... well, uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, I'm about to dance with this lady."

"Okay," Melinda sighed as she dropped her head in disappointment and walked away.

"Oh," Mona moaned upon seeing the little girl's disappointment.

Ross immediately got the message and said, "Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldn't mind letting you go first."

"I'd be happy to," Mona said to Melinda. She then turned to Ross and said, "You are very sweet."

"Oh..." Ross chuckled. Then he went totally serious and said, "...yes I-I am." He then turned to Melinda and suggested, "In fact, um, hey, why don't we try it my special way and you can dance on my feet?"

"Sure!" Melinda happily obliged.

"Yeah? Hop on."

Mona sat back down as Ross and Melinda started dancing.

"Is the pretty lady looking?" Ross asked.

Melinda looked over and said, "Uh-huh."

"Keep dancing."

Meanwhile, back in the room where the reception's being held, Monica and Rachel are busy talking to some old friends as Joey entered the scene wearing a preppy tennis outfit. Rachel gushed upon seeing her boyfriend decked out in such a manner while the newlywed mother-to-be was unimpressed.

"Oh, sweet Lord," Monica deadpanned, earning a rather incredulous glare from Rachel.

"I'm sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and it's either this or a bathrobe!" Joey explained. "Look, what's more important, the way I'm dressed or me being with you on your special day?"

"Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening," Monica retorted. She then spotted Phoebe walking in with the pregnancy test she needed and called out to her, "Phoebe!"

The woman in question waved Monica over and the two sped of for the unisex bathroom with no words, leaving a dumbfounded Rachel and Joey in their wake.

Rachel then approached her boyfriend and said, "Well, I, for one, thing you look fantastic."

Joey smiled at his girlfriend and said, "Really? You do?"

"Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I've been looking for someone to help me brush up my tennis skills."

"Well, milady, you're in luck because I just so happen to be an excellent tennis instructor."

Both Cobras chuckled happily at their little flirting session and wrapped each other up in a passionate embrace.

Time lapse; the band is finishing another song.

"Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served," the bandleader announced.

Ross started his search for table six and , to his surprise, discovered that it's the kid's table. Then, he saw Mona sitting at table nine.

"Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six."

"No, nine," Mona replied, showing him the card again, right side up this time.

"Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way..." he turns her hand upside down. "...which uh, which was misleading. Well, I'm…" He went and sat down at his new table and the kids all stared at him. "Hello."

Meanwhile, in between a few sets of tables, Joey is giving Rachel a "tennis lesson" by standing behind her.

"That's better, now just bend your arms a little more," Joey instructed. Rachel, being the "model student" that she is, did as instructed. "There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it." They did a practice swing and she really put her ass into it. "Beautiful! That was perfect!"

"I know! I'm awesome!" Rachel happily exclaimed as she hugged her boyfriend lovingly.

"Hey, Rach, I got a little present for ya."

"Joey, I'm not going to stick my hand down your pants."

"No."

"No?"

"No, I've been taking dancing lessons."

"What?!"

"Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted make sure you had the best time of your life tonight."

"Ah, Joey, that's so sweet!"

"So... care to join me on the dance floor when the band starts playing again, milady?"

"I'd love to."

Meanwhile, in the unisex bathroom, Monica and Phoebe are awaiting the outcome of Monica's second test.

"How much longer?" the newlywed Geller sibling asked.

"Thirty seconds," Phoebe replied after checking her watch.

"Thirty seconds, okay," Monica whispered.

Suddenly, the door opened and Chandler entered.

"Did I miss it?" the newlywed "transpondster" asked. Phoebe shook her head no. Chandler then turned to his new wife and said, "Monica, I-I want you to know that, if it's positive, we're gonna…"

"Oh I know, I know," Monica softly responded as she lovingly hugged her new husband.

"It's time," Phoebe announced, forcing the Bings to break their embrace.

Another man started to enter, causing the trio to yell, "NO!" forcing the man to back out.

"Go ahead, Mon," Chandler said.

Monica went over to look, but then stopped herself.

"Oh, wait! Y'know what? I can't, I can't look at it. I can't. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me."

"Okay," Phoebe obliged.

"Okay."

Phoebe looked at the pregnancy test and checked the instructions to make sure. Then she said, "It's positive."

Both Monica and Chandler looked at her with hopeful looks on their faces.

"Are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes, see for yourself," Phoebe replied as she handed them both the test.

The newlywed couple both looked at it and were ecstatic to see the confirmation right in front of them.

"Oh, my God! It's really happening for us!" Monica happily exclaimed to her husband.

"We're really gonna do this!" Chandler happily exclaimed to his wife. "We're gonna have a baby."

"We're gonna have a baby," Monica parroted.

"We're gonna have a baby!" the newlywed couple happily exclaimed simultaneously.

All three immediately joined together in a group hug.

Meanwhile, back out in the reception hall, Ross is still sat at the kiddie table, reaching for something when a fart noise emanated from his chair, causing the kids to laugh.

"It was the chair again, okay? I'm not doing it!" Ross explained in annoyance.

"Dad, can't you go back to your table?" Ben asked.

"No, okay? apparently little Molly Gilbert is enjoying her grown-up salmon en croute," Ross explained as he took a bite out of his hot dog.

Finally, the band started up again, playing fox-trot. Ross saw his opportunity and started to leave his seat, but it "farted" again, causing the kids to laugh again.

"Hey, what, look, I don't... y'know what? Eh-eh…" Ross simply said as he walked away from the kiddie table.

He then headed off to table nine, over to Mona. "Hi."

"Hi!" Mona greeted back.

"Um, would you like to dance?"

"Sure."

The two got up to dance and then got interrupted by Melinda from the kiddie table.

"Dr. Geller?"

"I wasn't farting!" Ross yelled without thinking. He then turned to Mona and covered, "Uh, a little game from our table." He then turned back to Melinda and asked, "Yes?"

"Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?" Melinda asked.

"Oh. Um... well, uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, I'm about to dance with this lady."

"Okay," Melinda sighed as she dropped her head in disappointment and walked away.

"Oh," Mona moaned upon seeing the little girl's disappointment.

Ross immediately got the message and said, "Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldn't mind letting you go first."

"I'd be happy to," Mona said to Melinda. She then turned to Ross and said, "You are very sweet."

"Oh..." Ross chuckled. Then he went totally serious and said, "...yes I-I am." He then turned to Melinda and suggested, "In fact, um, hey, why don't we try it my special way and you can dance on my feet?"

"Sure!" Melinda happily obliged.

"Yeah? Hop on."

Mona sat back down as Ross and Melinda started dancing.

"Is the pretty lady looking?" Ross asked.

Melinda looked over and said, "Uh-huh."

"Keep dancing."

6m ago...continued from the last post

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the dance floor, Joey and Rachel are having the time of their lives.

"Wow, Joey, you weren't kidding when you said you've been taking dance lessons; you're a really good dancer."

"Thanks, Rach; I'm really glad you approve. See, there's actually another reason I took those lessons."

"Really? What's that other reason."

"Well, you're the best woman I've ever had a deep, meaningful relationship, and I didn't want to that be messed up by you being embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot."

"Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me." Joey grunted. "Okay, sometimes you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesn't matter. All right? I love you for who you are; not for how talented you are at stuff. No matter what you do, I'm going home with you, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, Rach."

"I love you too, Joe."

The happy couple held each other closely as the song drew to a close.

"Thank you," Melinda said to Ross as their dance finished up.

"No-no, thank you, Miranda," Ross retorted.

"Melinda," the little girl corrected.

"All right," Ross brushed off as he approached Mona.

"How cute was that?" Mona asked.

"Oh, oh, were you... were you watching?" Ross chuckled, pretending to be oblivious.

Before he could ask her to dance with him, Ashley, another girl from the kiddie table, approached him.

"Can I go next?" Ashley asked.

"Uh... Of course you can. Hop on."

"Okay, but I get to hop on after her," Mona said rather suggestively, to which Ross responded by biting the air.

"I am so gonna score," Ross muttered under his breath as he was dancing with Ashley.

"What?" Ashley asked, having overheard his whisper.

"I like your bow," Ross answered as a cover up.

Meanwhile, Rachel and joey spot Chandler & Monica and Phoebe re-entering the room.

"Hey, where' you guys go? You disappeared after the band took a break," Rachel asked.

"Well, we, uh, had to double check something," Monica replied.

"Double check what?" Joey asked.

"Whether Monica's actually pregnant or not," Chandler explained.

"What? I thought you guys were absolutely positive you were!" Rachel incredulously exclaimed.

"Yes, but there was a chance that it may have been a false positive. Remember when I was pregnant with the triplets? I had to take the test three times just to make sure I was," Phoebe explained.

"That is a good point, yeah," Joey agreed. "So, was it a false positive?"

"No. It was real," Monica replied. "We're gonna have a baby!"

"Oh, my God, that's so great! I'm so happy for you guys!" Rachel happily exclaimed.

"My little boy's finally growing up!" Joey happily exclaimed.

Chandler ignored that remark as they all pulled in for a big group hug.

Meanwhile, the song is now drawing to a close.

"That was very nice, Ashley," Ross commended.

"Can we do it again?" Ashley asked.

"No, no," Ross point blankly declined.

He then approached Mona again.

"So, is it my turn now?" Mona asked.

Unfortunately, before Ross could answer, a large rotund girl named Gert, also from the kiddie table, approached Ross.

"I'm next."

"Oh," Ross recoiled in horror.

"Uh... that's okay. You can dance with her first," Mona politely suggested.

"Oh, you-you sure?" Ross asked, to which Mona replied by nodding her head yes. "Okay." He then turned to Gert and asked, "So what's, uh, what's your name?"

"Gert."

"That's-that's pretty."

The two started to dance, but then Ross notices Gert trying to stand on his feet like the other two girls did and quickly pulled them out of harm's way.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there, Gert?"

"Dancing on your feet, like the other girls did it."

Realizing there's no way out of this, Ross reluctantly complied, "Okay." He swallowed hard and said, "Hop on, Gert."

Gert did hop on Ross' feet and, as expected, the poor winced in pain due to the weight be applied to his feet.

"Why aren't you moving your feet?" Gert asked.

"I'm trying," Ross replied, straining to move his feet.

"Faster! You're not going fast enough!" Gert demanded.

"Maybe I should stand on your feet!" Ross snapped without thinking, causing Gert to reel back in shock. Ross quickly realized what he said and tried to brush it off.

Time lapse, Joey and Rachel are now helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on in concern.

"I just didn't see the fast song coming," Ross explained.

"Shh. Shh. Don't try to talk. We'll get you up to your room, we'll soak your feet, you'll be okay," Joey said.

"Oh, thank you," Ross responded.

"That is so sweet!" Mona complimented.

"Yeah," Joey brushed off.

"No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there."

"Tell me about it, I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself."

"It's Joey, right?"

Joey immediately saw where this was going and was about to let Mona know that he was already taken, but Rachel, who also saw where it was going, beat him to the punch.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Back off there, missy. Mr. Nice Guy here's already taken."

"Oh, really? By who?"

"By me."

"Oh, oh, that's why you two were dancing so romantically out there. Sorry, won't make that mistake again. Well, how about I help Ross up to his room and you two get back to... y'know, what you two do?"

"I'd like that very much," Ross said.

Joey & Rachel agreed and let Mona take Ross up to his room.


	6. Honey

**I lied, I'm not gonna go to sleep right now. I'm gonna publish some more, this is written by Varkie444.**

8.2 "The One With The Red Sweater"

Rachel: Listen y'know what sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!  
Joey: (entering) Hey!  
Phoebe: Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night?  
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!  
(Chandler and Monica enter.)  
Chandler: (to the front desk clerk) Hi! We're checking out of the bridal suite.  
Monica: (depressed) That's right. I'm no longer a bride. I'll never be a bride again. Now, I'm just someone's wife!  
Chandler: And I'm the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on don't be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!  
Monica: Oh yeah, right. (Rolls her eyes.)  
Chandler: We got the honeymoon and a baby  
Monica: That's not 'til Thursday, and the baby won't be here for months! didn't you pay attention in health class at all?  
Chandler: The wedding pictures?  
Monica: They won't be ready for weeks.  
Chandler: Not the disposable cameras from the tables.  
Monica: That's true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!  
Chandler: I'll tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.  
Monica: Okay.  
Phoebe: Hey Monica, are you having any morning sickness?  
(Joey giggles.)  
Chandler: What? What did you take a picture of?  
Joey: Nothing! It was something.  
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?  
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not 'til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.  
Chandler: Oh.  
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to, and to answer your question Phoebe, yes, a lot!  
Chandler: Okay, well I'm gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.)Thirty-Two Joe. You're 32! (Exits)  
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Here's a copy of your bill.  
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, which I couldn't even drink, strawberries which I couldn't eat because I was too nauseous…Oh my Gosh! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!  
Joey: Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga nut?  
Opening Credits  
[Scene: Ross's Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]  
Ross: Hi.  
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?  
Ross: Why not? It's built into the price of the room.  
Chandler: Yeah but you don't need—(Picks up something)—What is this?  
Ross: Thread!  
Chandler: Score! Where are the disposable cameras?  
Ross: What disposable cameras?  
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?  
Ross: No you didn't.  
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said…  
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.  
Chandler: So you don't have the cameras?!  
Ross: No. Sorry man.  
Chandler: So? What? What? They're gone! Monica's gonna freak! and those pregnancy hormones are gonna make her freak even more!  
Ross: Well, I'm sure they're still somewhere here in the hotel. I'll-I'll help you look for them.  
Chandler: Great.  
Ross: In-in three minutes.  
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)  
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.]  
Phoebe: Hey!  
Monica: Hey!  
Phoebe: Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler?  
Monica: No! (Pause) But, they're callin' out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldn't mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?  
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it, you see yourself as an old woman.  
(Monica opens it anyways.)  
Monica: A tiny salt shaker!  
Phoebe: Ohhh! My Gosh! For tiny salt!  
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Well, that was fun. Oh, okay, too much fun(runs to the bathroom to throw up)  
Phoebe: Oh yeah, are you okay?  
Monica: (Walking back into the living room) Yeah, just morning sickness. Okay, I'm just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.  
Phoebe: Okay.  
Monica: Whew. Although y'know, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean… I guess it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?  
Phoebe: Well I guess it's okay to open one more if it's part of a set. Y'know, it's probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)  
Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.)  
Rachel: (entering) Hi. How are you? Any morning sickness  
Monica: Nah, just some morning-noon-and-night sickness  
Rachel: That bad huh?  
Monica: Yeah  
Phoebe: You know, when I was pregnant with the triplets I had so much morning sickness, ugh! It was terrible  
Rachel: You don't think Monica is having triplets, do you?  
Phoebe: Well…  
Monica: No! I can't handle triplets! (suddenly panicked) You're wrong!  
Phoebe: You just wait and see  
Monica: I'm going to call my obstetrician (picks up the phone) and book a sonogram to prove that you're wrong!  
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]  
Ross: Chandler?  
Chandler: Hey! Did you find the cameras?  
Ross: No. Did you?  
Chandler: Yes! And that's why I'm under the table. Celebrating.  
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-one's turned them.  
Chandler: Well this is great. Y'know, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, she's really depressed.  
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?  
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I can't believe I screwed this up!  
Ross: I'm sorry man.  
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters.]  
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, when's your sonogram?  
Monica: Tomorrow  
Phoebe: Can I come?  
Rachel: Yeah! Me too  
Phoebe: Come on! Please  
Monica: Maybe  
Phoebe: We'll be good!  
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has now opened more of the wedding gifts.]  
Joey: (entering) Ooh-ooh-ooh! Are we opening presents?  
Monica: No! No! I shouldn't have even opened these! I mean I—Joey I am out of control! Joey, you have to do me a favor? No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?  
Joey: Okay.  
Monica: Give me one more.  
Joey: Okay. (Hands her one.)  
{Chandler enters}  
Chandler: Hey honey! I'm home! (looks at presents) wait, you opened all our presents!?  
Monica: Yeah, but look, honey, we even got some baby clothes from your mom, (holds up a onesie) see?

Chandler: Aww, it's so small  
Monica: I know! and I booked a sonogram with my doctor for tomorrow, we won't be able to see the gender of our baby, but we will be able to see how many there are (glares at Phoebe)  
Chandler: Wha, what? How many?  
Monica: Yeah, I think we are having just one baby, but Phoebe seems to think we are having triplets  
Chandler:(panicked) No…. You aren't having triplets though.  
Monica: I know!  
Phoebe:(mumbling) It is a possibility.  
Monica: Phoebe, I will give you $300 if you are right and I am having triplets  
Chandler: What? Honey, we can't afford that, we just spent like, half our savings on this wedding  
Monica: But! If I am just having one baby, then you have to give me $100!  
Phoebe: Deal!  
CREDITS


	7. Wonderfully

**Written by Writergurl30.**

Episode 8.3 .The one with the Sonogram  
Monica and Chandler walked up to apartment nineteen hand in hand towing their luggage.  
"Monica, before we go in," Chandler said turning to face his wife. "I just wanted to say that while I really, really enjoyed our honeymoon…" Chandler began with an emphasis on the word "really", which caused Monica to chuckle and nodded knowingly.  
"I am even more excited to get to start this next chapter of our lives together with this little one," Chandler finished as he looked down at her still flat belly and placed his hand gently over it.  
"Me too," Monica replied tearfully as she placed her own hand over his and then lifted her gaze to his baby blues. However, her eyes took an unwanted detour to that damn puka necklace. The eye sore as she had come to so "affectionately" refer to it in her mind.  
"It's just…It's just…" Monica stuttered as she struggled to form in her mind what she wanted to say as delicately as she could before she blurted it out.  
"What is it?" Chandler asked dipping his head to lightly kiss her neck and then her shoulder.  
"I just hope our future doesn't include you wearing this stupid puka shell necklace anymore," Monica responded as she bit down on her bottom lip.  
"What are you talking about?" Chandler asked. "The man who sold this to me told me that this necklace is very hip," Chandler pouted putting his hands on his hips.  
"Sweetie, the man who sold it to you was also selling Petticoat Junction collectibles and shrunken heads. Not the best judge of what's quote on quote hip or normal for that matter," Monica scoffed.  
"Fine, I'll ditch it, if you promise that we get to try that sex position tonight that the Rastafarian at the Tiki bar of the hotel recommended," Chandler negotiated.  
"Um…why don't you ditch the necklace and we just have sex the normal way tonight, ok, big guy," Monica responded cheekily as she adjusted the strap of her carry on and turned on her heel to turn the knob on apartment nineteen. Chandler, on the other hand, bowed his head remorsefully before following behind.  
"Hey!" Monica and Chandler greeted Rachel and Joey excitedly as they entered the apartment.  
"Hey!" the couple responded as they got up from the kitchen stools to greet and hug their friends.  
"So what did you get us?" Rachel asked clapping her hands together giddily.  
"Nothing…" Monica said glancing at Chandler who exchanged the same bemused look.  
"What? No gifts?" Joey asked exasperatedly,  
"Guys, we didn't get anyone anything," Monica defended, as she placed the heavy carry-on bag on the kitchen counter.  
"So you didn't manage to get us anything, but Chandler managed to get himself that necklace," Joey pointed accusingly towards Chandler who proceeded to cup his hand protectively over his prized souvenir.  
"You want the necklace? You can have it," Monica said dismissively as she walked toward the plush barcalounger and plopped down on it. Rachel trailed her friend and took a seat on the arm of it.  
Meanwhile, Joey approached Chandler like a predator to pry the necklace off of his neck, while Chandler backed towards the door like Joey's cornered prey.  
"So how was the honeymoon? I want all of the deets," Rachel inquired like a nosey pre-teen.  
"Deets?" Monica asked raising her eyebrow in amused curiosity.  
"You know details," Rachel clarified.  
"Oh, well. It was great actually. It was SO romantic, and we saw SO many sights?" Monica gushed.  
"Oh yeah, what did you see?" Rachel asked.  
"Oh you know this waterfall and that waterfall…"Monica trailed off.  
"You never left the hotel room the whole time you were there did you?" Rachel realized crossing her arms over her chest.  
"We did…" Monica defended. "For dinner and to have sex in the hotel hot tube…one…two…or five times, " Monica mumbled as she blushed.  
"Ah, I see," Rachel nodded.  
"Actually, we met a great married couple on the plane ride home," Chandler interjected as he rejoined the conversation with Joey in tow who was now wearing the puka shell necklace.  
"Yeah, Greg and Jenny," Monica chimed in.  
"They were also on their honeymoon, and they are also expecting," Monica beamed, as she placed her land on her still flat abdomen.  
"We have to give them a call babe so that we can all go out sometime," Chandler said.  
"Oh! Maybe Jenny and I can go baby shopping together!" Monica exclaimed and clapped her hands together excitedly.  
"Jeez Mon, it's not like you don't have me to go with," Rachel said pointing towards herself for emphasis.  
"Yeah, it's just different because she's also expecting," Monica reiterated.  
"You already said that," Rachel quipped getting up from her place on the chair and practically pushing Chandler off the stool he was on to sit next to her dejected boyfriend.  
"So big deal they are married, what difference does that make?" Joey shrugged.  
"Well, it would be cool to do things with another couple," Chandler said looking over to Monica for validation who returned his sentiment with a nod.  
"Hello, couple, over here," Rachel waved dramatically and then pointed between herself and Joey.  
"Yeah, but they're married," Chandler defended.  
"Oh so now you have to be married to be taken seriously as a couple? What is this 1929?" Rachel huffed.  
"No…but we just thought it would be kind of weird considering you know Ross and everything," Monica said looking over at Chandler who had now joined her on the chair.  
"Yeah, I don't think he's quite gotten used to the two of you being together, yet," Chandler elaborated.  
"What makes you think that?" Joey asked.  
"Because he said so," Monica answered.  
"Oh," Joey replied.  
"Don't worry he'll come around soon or sometime before you two get married, or after, or after one of you dies," Chandler quipped.  
"Oh, wow, I guess we haven't really had time to process what Ross may be feeling about this; I mean on top of this all starting up so fast. There were just so many other things going on like you two getting married, Joey getting the part in the movie, finding out that you two are expecting," Rachel said.  
"And the fact that the economy isn't so good now," Joey added dumbly, which caused the other three friends to turn towards him with dumbfounded looks. Joey just shrugged in response.  
"Anyway," Rachel said turning the attention back towards the conversation at hand.  
"What can we do or say to make him ok with this?" Rachel asked turning towards Monica.  
"I don't think there's anything you can do, sweetie, except give him time," Monica replied getting up from her spot on the chair and giving Rachel's thigh a pat.  
"I guess you're right," Rachel frowned at Joey, who simply shrugged in response.  
"Well now that we've put a wrench in your day, why don't we go home and unpack? I have an OBGYN appointment today in like three hours," Monica said looking at her watch. "We have to get a move on," Monica added as she gathered up her luggage and gave her friend a quick hug.  
"Buy guys," Chandler said as he followed Monica out.  
"Bye," a dejected Joey and Rachel echoed.  
"Man, this sucks!" Joey explained and went to the nearest cabinet and proceeded to pull out various packages and boxes of junk food, including a whole bottle of wine.  
"Joey? What are you doing?" Rachel asked.  
"Eating," Joey replied. "When I'm stressed or upset I eat."  
"Joey," Rachel wined grabbing the contents from him and putting them back in a somewhat orderly fashion,  
"Food is not the answer; we have to figure this out together," Rachel said closing the cabinet door.  
"Really? Together?" Joey asked with a slight smile.  
"Yes, together," Rachel replied taking his hands in hers.  
"I love you, Rach," Joey whispered.  
"I love you too, Joey," Rachel responded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a tender kiss that quickly intensified.  
"Get a room," they heard Phoebe say.  
"Phoebe, hi,"  
"What up Phoebes?

Both said awkwardly as they pulled away.  
"I would ask what you two have been up to," Phoebe scoffed. "But that is pretty obvious, isn't it?" Phoebe quipped cocking her head slightly to the side.  
"Yeah…so what's up with you?" Rachel asked fluffing her hair and wiping a smudge of lipstick from the corner of her lip at Joey's prompting.  
"Not much, just gave a massage to some old guy that proceeded to grab my ass afterwards," Phoebe said nonchalantly.  
"Phoebe are you serious?" Rachel gasped.  
"Eh, what are you going to do about it? It happens sometimes," Phoebe shrugged causing Rachel and Joey to exchange horrified glances.  
"So did Monica and Chandler get home yet?" Phoebe asked plopping down on the Barcalounger and crossing one leg daintily over the other.  
"Yeah, but they didn't bring us anything so who cares," Rachel waved dismissively.  
"I see, but where did Joey get that necklace?" Phoebe asked pointing towards the accessory.  
"Oh, this," Joey blushed. "Chandler gave it to me…after I threatened to give him a wedgie."  
"Oh, ok, I wonder what Chandler will give me if I threaten to punch him in the balls?" Phoebe wondered out loud.  
"So, Phoebe…" Rachel began glancing nervously at Joey. "Have you noticed if Ross seems uncomfortable with Joey and me, since we got together?"  
"Not really, I don't really pay that much attention to Ross," Phoebe waved dismissively.  
"Well could you find out if he is uncomfortable with Joey and me together?" Rachel asked pointing between herself and Joey.  
"Oh I don't know?" Phoebe replied.  
"Please, pretty please," Rachel replied clasping her hands together and puckering her lips together into a rather juvenile pout.  
"Not the puppy face," Phoebe moaned leaning back in the chair.  
"Please," Joey chimed in mimicking Rachel's pathetic expression.  
"Please, please, please," Rachel reiterated walking over to Phoebe and bending down on her knees on one side of Phoebe's chair. Meanwhile, Joey bent down on the other side as both continued to plead like little children.  
"Fine, fine, I'll do it, you know that I can't resist these cute little faces," Phoebe cooed as she proceeded to pinch both of their cheeks.  
"But you both owe me big time," Phoebe said pointing a demanding finger.  
"Absolutely," Rachel nodded in agreement.  
"You will name your first born after me," Phoebe demanded.  
"Absolutely…not," Rachel replied as she abruptly changed the direction of her nod.  
"Middle name?" Phoebe asked.  
"Maybe," Rachel replied as she returned her nod to the forward direction.  
"Eh, good enough," Phoebe shrugged lifting herself from the chair and adjusting her skirt.  
"Thank you Phoebe," Rachel and Joey chimed.  
"Hey, do you think I can get Monica and Chandler to name their first born after me?" Phoebe asked.  
"Probably not, but we know a way to get back at them for making you listen to them have sex when you stayed with them," Rachel smiled with a mischievous glint in her hazel eyes.  
"Eh, it wasn't so bad, except when I used to hear both Monica and Chandler moan, 'yes, yes, yes,' at the same time." Phoebe said deadpan. "However, I like your train of thought. Let's talk more about this later."  
"Chow," Phoebe said as she blew the pair a kiss and exited the apartment.  
"Yeah!" Rachel clapped giddily once Phoebe left.  
"I know!" Joey returned her excitement.  
"We got Phoebe to talk to Ross for us, and we get help getting Monica and Chandler back for not getting us any presents!" Joey exclaimed gleefully.  
"I know," Rachel smiled and nodded in agreement as she put her arms around his neck and leaned in to share a secret smile and tender kiss.

"Hey stranger," Phoebe said to Ross as she entered the coffee house.  
"Are you excited to see me?"  
"Hey and yes, actually," Ross replied.  
"Really? I wasn't expecting that, but ok," Phoebe said as she joined Ross on the big orange couch.  
"Sorry, yes, but not for what you think," Ross replied shaking his head.  
"Oh, ok," Phoebe replied.  
"I have a date, and I am a little nervous," Ross sheepishly admitted.  
"You nervous? You've been on more dates and have married more women than one of those dudes from the Bible," Phoebe quipped.  
"Haha, I've dated a lot of women, and I've been married three times," Ross laughed in a deadpan.  
"Well you said it," Phoebe shrugged.  
"So tell me about this girl that's out of your league," Phoebe probed.  
"Ok, well her name is Mona. She works with Monica actually. She's her assistant chef. She's SO beautiful and smart. I met her at Monica and Chandler's wedding," Ross explained.  
"Out of your league, please," Phoebe laughed.  
"Really?" Ross asked.  
"Yeah, this sounds like a cake walk or another possible divorce for you," Phoebe said causing Ross to roll his eyes in response.  
"There she is," Ross squeaked causing Phoebe to turn her head towards the door.  
"Never mind what I said she is totally out of your league," Phoebe whispered.  
"What?" Ross exclaimed as the pair rose to greet the lengthy, short haired brunette.  
"Hi, Mona," Ross said greeting the women with a quick, nervous hug.  
"Hi," Mona replied sweetly.  
"Mona, this is my friend Phoebe," Ross said introducing the two women.  
"Hi, Phoebe, right? I think we've met before?" Mona stated.  
"Uh…I don't think so," Phoebe nodded nervously.  
"Yeah, your Monica's friend. Sometimes you come to visit Monica at the restaurant and then 'sample' the food," Mona explained with air quotes around the word food causing Phoebe to blanch and Ross to glare at Phoebe.  
"It's ok," Mona began, "Sometimes I sneak Cheesecake home just to make sure it doesn't 'go bad'," Mona quipped with air quotes around the phrase "go bad".  
"Well it was great seeing you again, Mona," Phoebe nodded to the young women.  
"Ross," Phoebe said leaning in to whisper in his ears. "She's a keeper; don't screw this one up," Phoebe stated before leaving earning an uncomfortable gaze from Ross, which he proceeded to cover up with a smile for Mona's benefit.

Once Monica and Chandler were inside their apartment, Monica turned toward Chandler and said, "That was a little awkward."  
"You think? Hey! I know! Why we don't try calling Greg and Jenny?" Chandler suggested attempting to change the subject.  
"Ok!" Monica beamed as she clapped her hands together gleefully. Chandler smiled at Monica before picking up the wireless and dialing the number on the slip of paper he pulled out of his pocket.  
"This is so exciting!" Chandler beamed at his new bride.  
"I know!" Monica responded.  
"Well that's strange," Chandler said clicking the end call button and then re-checking the number on the slip of paper.  
"What?" Monica asked.  
"When I called I got some Chinese dry cleaner in the Bronx," Chandler responded.  
"Let me try again," Chandler said as he carefully dialed the number.  
"Dammit, it was that dry cleaner again," Chandler said as he ended the call.  
"You must be reading it wrong, let me do it," Monica said as she snatched the phone and slip of paper from Chandler and dialed herself.  
"Huh," Monica said.  
"I just got the Chinese dry cleaner too," Monica said as she placed the wireless back on its base.  
"This has to be some kind of mistake," Monica said shaking her head in disbelief.  
"What has to be some kind of mistake?" Joey asked as he and Rachel entered the apartment.  
"We tried calling Jenny and Greg, and the number we got was for some Chinese dry cleaner," Chandler explained.  
"Huh," Joey said biting his lip in attempt not to chuckle. Rachel however, bowed her head and placed her hand over her mouth as silent giggles wracked her petite frame.  
"What's so funny?" Monica asked in annoyance and placed her hands on her hips.  
"Nothing…it's just that you got fake numbered," Joey said as Rachel burst out laughing.  
"Guys stop it!" the newly married couple shot back.

"They probably gave you fake names too," Joey said as Rachel burst into another fit of laughter and shook her head in amusement.

"No they didn't, and who would do that?" Monica asked prompting Joey to turn towards Rachel to fake introduce himself.  
"Hi, Ken Adams," Joey said as he extended his hand for Rachel to shake.  
"Hi, Monanna, nice to meet you," Rachel said reciprocating the gesture.  
"Ok, point taken," Monica conceded. "But I still don't understand why? I mean, Chandler, you were hilarious; joke after joke; you were on fire."  
"And Monica you were so inquisitive; you asked so many thoughtful questions," Chandler returned the compliment.  
"I did, but now that I think of if…" Monica began to re-consider.  
"What?" Chandler asked.  
"You did tell a lot of jokes," Monica answered.  
"What? You just said it yourself; I was hilarious," Chandler said defensively.  
"Yeah, but the jokes were a little much, don't you think?" Monica answered.  
"Yeah, well your one to talk," Chandler quipped.  
"Excuse me?" Monica asked placing her hand over her heart in shock.  
"It was like question after question; what day was your wedding? What time of day was it? Why did you choose that time? Did you know that the cheapest day to get married is Tuesday? Did you like your caterer? What band played at your wedding? Did you allow kids? I'm sure they felt like they were being interrogated by the CIA. Plus, the sheer volume of it was like flying with the Riddler," Chandler mocked.  
"Was that another joke?" Monica returned.  
"Was that another question?" Chandler shot back.  
"Ok, ok, you guys; it's SO not a big deal, it's not like you need those two anyways; you still have us," Rachel said walking over to her friend.  
"I know, it just feels like we were stood up," Monica sighed slumping her shoulders.  
"I know, I know, but there are other married couples in the sea; better ones with real names and real phone numbers," Rachel said patting her friend's back.  
"I guess; I'm going to go unpack," Monica said dejectedly as she carried her luggage into her bedroom.  
"I'm also going to go unpack," Chandler said to Rachel and Joey and then followed behind.  
"Those two I swear; I have no idea what they would do without us," Rachel said as she walked over to the fridge and opened it up.  
"They would receive a lot more fake names and numbers," Joey replied as plopped down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table.  
"Yeah," Rachel laughed as she handed Joey a water bottle and took a seat.  
"Hey," Phoebe said cheerfully as she entered the apartment.  
"Hey, Phoebes."  
"Hey, Phoebe."  
Joey and Rachel replied, as Phoebe hung her purse on the rack by the door and moved toward the fridge.  
"So, how did it go?" Rachel asked and turned towards her friend who rummaged in the fridge before grabbing a Pineapple Snapple.  
"How did what go?" Phoebe asked dumbstruck, which caused Joey and Rachel to exchange glances.  
"Your conversation with Ross about us," Rachel clarified pointing between her and Joey.  
"Oh, that," Phoebe said as she unscrewed the cap and took a sip.  
"It went great," Phoebe said once she swallowed the liquid.  
"It did?" Joey asked in surprise.  
"Yeah, he's totally ok with you guys now; in fact, when I got to the coffee house, he was waiting for a date," Phoebe said gleefully.  
"He was?" Rachel asked in surprise.  
"Yeah, you're ok with it right?" Phoebe asked Rachel.  
"Yeah, I'm kind of dating Joey now," Rachel responded sarcastically.  
"I know that!" Phoebe defended.  
"So who is she?' Joey asked. "Some dorky dinosaur chick?" Joey asked.  
"No actually, she works for Monica," Phoebe shook her head. "She's Monica's assistant chef; her name is Mona," Phoebe explained.  
"Mona? Mona? Mona, Mona! I know her! She's hot!" Joey said. "I have tried to pick her up so many times…" Joey said earning a disapproving glance from Rachel.  
"So many times in the far, far past," Joey clarified.  
"So that's good….good for Ross," Rachel said raising her glass to a toast, which was reciprocated by both Phoebe and Joey.  
"To Ross," Rachel cheered.  
"To Ross," Phoebe and Joey echoed.

"I can't believe we got fake named and fake numbered," Monica mumbled as she removed a neatly folded pile of dirty laundry from her suit case.  
"And I can't believe that is a real thing," Monica finished as she threw the laundry into the hamper.  
"Honey, honey, it's ok," Chandler said placing a pile of dirty clothes in the hamper before going over to his wife and pulling her into his arms.  
"I know," Monica said sniffling back a sob.  
"Sweetheart?" Chandler began. "Are you crying?" Chandler asked.  
"No," Monica lied and turned away from him and back towards the bed.  
"Monica," Chandler repeated.  
"I don't know," Monica said. "It's probably these damn hormones or the fact that it was just plain mean," Monica sobbed.  
"Aw, honey," Chandler soothed as he plopped down on the end of the bed and gently pulled her onto his lap.  
"We're not that annoying are we?" Monica asked after a brief moment of silence.  
"No," Chandler responded as he smoothed her hair.  
"Well Joey's girlfriend Janine thought we were annoying; remember? She thought I was too loud and that you told too many lame jokes," Monica said.  
"Yeah, but she was SUCH a bitch," Chandler defended.  
"Still, I hate being disliked," Monica said playing with the hem of her sweater.  
"I know, and I could care less if anyone likes me," Chandler quipped.  
"Chandler, you know that's not true," Monica said.  
"You're right," Chandler sighed.  
"But you know what? Next time we tone it down just a bit, because underneath it all we are extremely likeable," Chandler  
"Ok," Monica agreed.  
"Ok," Chandler cutely echoed.  
"Chandler," Monica said catching Chandler's gaze and staring intently into his eyes.  
"I love you," Monica said.  
"I love you too," Chandler replied.  
"And I'm sorry for giving Joey permission to take your necklace," Monica apologized.  
"That's ok," Chandler shrugged. "Besides, I don't need that necklace to remember our honeymoon," Chandler said as he twirled the end of her hair around his finger.  
"Yeah?" Monica smiled.  
"Yeah, because I will always have the memories of all of the hot sex that we had," Chandler smiled.  
"It was pretty hot, wasn't it?" Monica asked now gazing deeply into his eyes.  
"It sure was," Chandler answered staring intensely back into his wife's eyes.  
"Monica?" Chandler asked again.  
"Yeah?" Monica replied as she inched her face closer to his.  
"Do you think we have time to do it before your appointment?" Chandler asked.  
"Absolutely," Monica answered as she leaned in and opened her mouth inviting in his tongue, which proceeded to twirl around and dance with hers.

"So, then I told the grad assistance that not to get technical, but according to science alcohol IS a solution," Ross joked causing Mona to burst out laughing.  
"You know Ross this has been really fun," Mona said circling the rim of her coffee cup with her index finger.  
"Yeah it really has," Ross agreed between a sip of coffee. "You are really easy to talk too," Ross added.  
"So are you," Mona concurred.  
"Maybe we could you know…do this again sometime," Ross suggested sheepishly.  
"I would really like that," Mona said leaning in slowly for  
"So would I," Ross responded leaning in as well.  
"Hey, guys!" they heard Phoebe say behind them. Ross and Mona immediately split apart and popped up from the couch.  
"Thanks for the great date, and I look forward to hearing from you soon?" Mona asked hopefully.  
"Absolutely," Ross answered with a genuine smile.  
"Then, I look forward to hearing from you," Mona said softly before giving Ross a quick peck on the cheek.  
"Good seeing you again, Phoebe," Mona said to Phoebe on her way out.  
"Good seeing you too!" Phoebe responed.

"I would really like that," Mona said leaning in slowly for a kiss from Ross.

"So, it looks like your date went really well," Phoebe said taking a seat on the couch as she signaled Gunther over.  
"Yeah it really did; Mona is so great. I can definitely see this going somewhere," Ross said as he joined her on the couch, and held out his coffee cup to Gunther for a refill.  
"Does that mean that you've moved on from the whole Rachel and Joey together discomfort?" Phoebe asked.  
"You know what I think I finally have," Ross admitted.  
"Then maybe you should tell them that," Phoebe suggested.  
"I think I will," Ross nodded as Phoebe gave him a sympathetic smile.  
"I think I will," Ross said again this time more to himself, and he smiled with relief as he realized that he finally felt freed from his past and that he could finally move on.

"So this is totally normal and comfortable," Chandler said standing beside Monica who was laying on the bed in the exam room wearing one of the flimsy medical gowns.  
"Oh, look at the plastic fetus over there," Chandler said while pointing towards the counter to the right.  
"Or the picture of female reproductive organs over there," Chandler said pointing to a sign on the wall over to their right.  
"Totally normal," Chandler added.  
"Chandler, I know this is uncomfortable for you, but it will all be all over soon," Monica replied.  
"Uncomfortable I'm not uncomfortable," Chandler said swinging his arm towards the tray of medical supplies almost knocking it over.  
"Chandler," Monica sighed, as Chandler grabbed the speculum that was about to fall.  
"Hey, this is interesting; I wonder what this is used for?" Chandler wondered out loud, as he examined the instrument.  
"It's a speculum; it's used to help the doctor check down there," Monica explained and illustrated by pointing towards her lady parts  
"Ah!" Chandler exclaimed and threw it behind him.  
"I see the fun has started without me," Dr. Long said catching the aforementioned item, as she entered the exam room.  
"Dr. Long, sorry about that," Monica said, as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear while she pulled Chandler closer to her head.  
"Dr. Long, this is Chandler," Monica said introducing them.  
"I assume you are the father," Dr. Long said as she extended her hand to shake chandler's.  
"Well I sure hope so," Chandler quipped sarcastically earning a glare from Monica, which caused Chandler to cower.  
"So how is my favorite patient doing?" Dr. Long asked.  
"Pretty good, and you?" Monica asked.  
"I can't complain," Dr. Long replied.  
"So it appears your pregnant; our pregnancy test confirmed what yours already did," Dr. Long smiled. In response, Monica and Chandler exchanged smiles.  
"So the questions you probably want answered are how far along you are and what does your little one look like, right?" Dr. Long asked. Both Monica and Chandler nodded in agreement.  
"All right so let's get started," Dr. Long said as she grabbed and began placing medical gloves on her hands.  
"Chandler, you better stand here," Monica said pulling him closer.  
"Monica, I'm fine," Chandler tried to reassure her.  
"You won't be, if you see what's going on down there," Monica winced slightly as Dr. Long inserted the speculum inside of Monica.  
"Everything looks good, Monica. Now to look at your baby," Dr. Long stated as she transitioned into the next task and turned on the ultra sound machine,  
"This will just take a few minutes? So are you two excited?" Dr. Long asked the nervous couple, as she rubbed some lubricant on Monica's belly and began to move the wand over her belly.  
"Very!"  
"Absolutely!"  
"Having a baby is a very exciting experience," Dr. Long stated.  
"Have you had any morning sickness yet, Monica?" Dr. Long asked.  
"Um yeah, it was pretty bad during the honeymoon," Monica said glancing at Chandler who nodded in agreement.  
"That would make sense as morning sickness tends to start around week six and you look to be close to the end of week 12," Dr. Long said as she examined the screen.  
"There are several simple things you can do to, but I can't guarantee you will eliminate it; when you check out you'll receive a hand-out of some remedies," Dr. Long stated.  
"You are also going to need to start taking pre-natal vitamins, and my nurse will give you a prescription for that before you go," Dr. Long added.  
"Wow, that's a lot to remember should I be taking notes?" Monica asked giving Chandler's hand a nervous squeeze, which he reciprocated with a reassuring one.  
"No worries, you'll get some other print outs with all of that; let's just focus on this little one here," Dr. Long stated.  
"Oh wow there is your baby right here… and your other baby is right here," Dr. Long said pointing to the screen.  
"Other baby?" Monica asked.  
"Yeah, it looks like you two are having twins, congratulations," Dr. Long smiled at the couple.  
"Oh my God!" Monica gasped moving her free hand to her mouth as tears began to well in her eyes. The sight before her was so incredible. That was her babies…their babies.  
"Are you ybe you should check again?" Chandler stuttered.  
"Check again? It's right there in black and white," Dr. Long said pointing towards the screen .  
"Yeah but you could be wrong," Chandler said earning a confused look from the doctor.  
"Ok," Dr. Long sighed looking back at the screen. h…I see," Dr. Long nodded before looking back at the couple.  
"It's still twins," Dr. Long said deadpan.  
"Monica, I will see you in a month," Dr. Long smiled at Monica before leaving the room.  
"Chandler," Dr. Long patted him on the back. "Good luck."  
"You're freaked out," Monica shook her head vigorously.  
"Why…why would you think that?" Chandler asked.  
"Because for one you were and are stuttering like Elmer Fod, and you were like 'Check it again! Check it again! Check it again!' "Monica mocked with a roll of her eyes as she got up from the exam table and stepped into the pair of jeans she was wearing and began to pull them up.  
"I believe I only said it one time," Chandler defended.  
"Man I knew this! I knew you would eventually panic!" Monica exclaimed as she fastened her bra.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Chandler asked putting his hands in his pockets.  
"The baby, the wedding, and now finding out what that no it's not just one it's two!" Chandler exclaimed.  
"I knew you weren't ready for this!" Monica admitted.  
"So what? You weren't going to tell me until you thought I was ready?" Chandler asked.  
"No…that's not what I meant, I was just going to wait until some of the wedding hype died down," Monica said.  
"So what Monica you were just going to keep this from me? Try to hide the fact that you were pregnant?" Chandler asked.  
"No," Monica shook her head vigorously as tears rocked her body.  
is is scary for me times two, ok; twice the ice the…twice the…" Chandler admitted as he pointed to the screen and then faltered as he glanced at the screen, as if something had caught his eye.  
"What? What is it?" Monica asked in a concern tone as she walked over to him.  
"Wow," Chandler mumbled in awe as he moved closer to the screen.  
"What?" Monica asked again more persistently this time.  
"They are so beautiful; those two little babies in there are so beautiful," Chandler gushed as he looked closer.  
"They are," Monica wistfully.  
"This is scary, but this is also a scary and great surprise at the same time; and I will gladly be scared and thrilled at the same time, if it means us getting to have these little guys at the end of it," Chandler said pointing to the screen.  
"Oh, Chandler," Monica breathed as he gently pulled her into his arms.  
"Monica, any surprises that come our way it's ok because I will always love you," Chandler smiled at her through tear filled eyes, as he gently cupped her face with his hand.  
"I love you, Chandler," Monica cried.  
"I love you too, Monica"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Rachel and Joey sat at the kitchen counter sharing a rather large tub of orange sherbet.  
"So this stuff totally sucks," Joey scoffed, as he dug his spoon into the frozen mass.  
"It tastes like vitamins," Rachel said taking one final bite and then tossing the spoon she was using into the kitchen sink.  
"Yeah, I totally would not eat this stuff if it wasn't free," Joey added between bites.  
"Free?" Rachel asked putting her hands on her hips.  
"Oh, I took it from the set of Days," Joey shrugged nonchalantly.  
"Joey!" Rachel scolded giving her boyfriend a light slap on his neck.  
"You stole this?" Rachel asked.  
"What! No!" Joey defended. "It was free; there was a sign on the fridge in the lounge telling us to help ourselves to whatever was in there, so I did," Joey defended.  
"Yeah, I think they meant take some not the WHOLE container," Rachel quipped shaking her head.  
"Hey," Ross and Phoebe echoed as they entered the apartment.  
"Hey," Joey and Rachel responded.  
"Oh, orange sherbet! Oh, I love orange sherbet!" Phoebe exclaimed as she took a spoon from the drawer and begin digging in.  
"So how was your date?" Joey asked Ross earning a nervous glance and slight nudge from Rachel.  
"How did you know about that?" Ross asked before glancing knowingly to a guilty faced Phoebe.  
"What? You know we don't keep secrets in this group," Phoebe defended between bites of sherbet causing Ross to throw up his hands and roll his eyes.  
"Anyways, it was really great; Mona is so much fun to talk too, and we have a lot in common," Ross explained glancing at Phoebe before beginning. "And I just want to say that I'm ok with you guys being together; I guess what I am trying to say is you have my blessing," Ross said then looked down at his feet.  
"Aw…Ross," Rachel gushed as she put her hand over her heart and went over to her friend to give him a tearful hug.  
"Thanks, man, that means a lot," Joey nodded returning the gesture with a quick hug.  
"Aw…get a room," Phoebe quipped earning an eye roll from the other three.  
"Hey!" Monica and Chandler greeted excitedly as they entered the apartment.  
"So how did it go?" Rachel asked.  
Monica and Chandler turned and smiled at one another before Monica blurted out, "We are having twins!"  
"Oh my God you guys!" Rachel cooed as she went over to give her two friends a hug. The rest of the friends followed suit exchanging hugs and congratulations.  
"Do you want to see the sonogram?" Monica asked whipping out the picture and walking over to the living room with Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe in tow.  
Joey lingered behind and turned toward his friend.  
"Are you ok, man?" Joey asked his friend.  
"Yeah, why?" Chandler asked.  
"Twins, man, that's HUGE; it must be kind of scary to think that you will now have one more kid than you expected," Joey slightly chuckled.  
"I'll admit it's scary, but in the MOST wonderful way possible," Chandler smiled wistfully at his friend. Joey responded with a smile and an encouraging pat on the back before the two friends re-joined the rest of the group in celebrating this special moment.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++LATER THAT NIGHT++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Later that evening, Monica and Chandler were making out on the couch as Monica straddled Chandler's lap. Monica's hands cupped the sides of Chandler's face as they kissed passionately, and Chandler ran his hands up and down her spine. Just as Chandler moved his hands to the bottom of Monica's blouse to shimmy it off of her petite frame, the phone rang.  
Chandler and Monica's faces parted as Chandler reached for and answered the phone.  
"Hello," Phoebe said attempting to disguise her voice with an accent that was a cross between the one she used for her Estelle impression and then one she used for her Regina Phalange impression .  
"Hi, this is Jenny as in one half of Jenny and Greg from the airplane, and Greg and I were wondering if you would be willing to come to the Chinese Dry cleaner where we live so you could tell us some of your amazing jokes," Phoebe said.  
"Ok, you know what you guys this is so NOT funny anymore!" Chandler replied and rolled his eyes as he heard Rachel and Joey laughing hysterically in the background  
"Again?" Monica asked as Chandler hung up the phone.  
"Yup," Chandler dryly responded as the phone began to ring again.  
"You know what, enough is enough," Monica said as she answered the phone, got off of Chandler's lap, and went over to the white plush chair to bury it underneath the cushion.  
"There, Problem solved," Monica beamed. "Care to join me in the bedroom, Mr. Bing?" Monica asked as she pulled off her blouse and tossed it in Chandler's direction leaving her upper half in only her lacey black bra.  
"Absolutely!" Chandler exclaimed as he caught the blouse and then jumped off of the couch and chased his giggling wife into their bedroom.  
"Hello, hello, hello, are you guys there?" Ross's jumbled voice could be heard coming from the chair cushion.  
"Dammit!" Ross moaned as he hung up the phone and the only sound that could be heard was the busy signal.  
END SCENE

 **Authors Note: I'm gonna try and write the next chapter. Good night for real guys! ㈴2**


	8. Sweet Love

**This is just a filler for 8x4, which someone is doing for me.**

 _2 weeks later..._

Mondler were spooning each other in bed.

"Babe we should go crib shopping tomorrow" Chandler kisses his wifes lips softly.

"That'll be good. I'm gonna get some warm milk, okay? You want some too" Monica said and raps the shawl tightly around her petite frame then gets up.

"Okay"

"I love you."

"I love you too"

They see Joey rummaging in the fridge.

"Dude it's 3am what are you doing" Chandler asked his former roommate.

'I'm nervous since me and Rachel are double dating with Ross and Mona tomorrow, so I eat when I'm nervous" Joey explained.

"Now that you explained, go back across the hall to your apartment" Chandler said.

"Fine" Joey went back go his and Rachel's apartment.

The next morning at the apartment, Monica was making breakfast when she noticed something.

She stopped upon looking at it.

"Are you three okay?" Chandler noticed his wife's expression.

"Yes we are fine. Look at this" Monica placed his hand on her small belly.

"Come on guys! I'm hungry" Joey banged his fists on the table.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Mon just started to show" Chandler annouced at the marvel.

Now there are no doubts their twins are in there.

That afternoon Mondler stop for coffee but as they are drinking it in the car, Monica opens the car door and throws up.

"Honey I thought you were behind that stage now, you're 14 weeks" Chandler stated and rubs her little bump.

"I'm carrying twins. The doctor said it could last up to the 4th month" Monica replied.

"Love, why don't we go get something to eat" Chandler felt bad.

"No please don't mention food" Monica moaned and opened up the car door then threw up again.

"Well then let's go to the crib store now" They leave.

At the crib store a lady asked "How may I help you?"

"Hello Ma'am we are looking for a big crib. We are having twins" Chandler answered wrapping his arm around Monica kissing her neck.

"Congrats" The lady smiles then leads the couple over to the cribs.

At Joey and Rachel's apartment, Phoebe saw a red sweater and asked "Who's is this"

"I don't know" Rachel replied.

Then a napkin fell out and it had Tag's number on it.

"Oh look at that" Rachel exclaimed.

 _[This is borning so I'm gonna skip some]_

Later on Joey is reading one of Monica's pregnancy books and said "Mon by the 14th week, your hands start to swell up and get bigger"

Monica replied "What really?" then tried to peek.

"You fall for it all the time!" Joey looks at his pregnant friend's facial expression.

That evening Mondler were cuddling,

"I love our new crib" Chandler gushed.

"Me too" Monica responed then added "Make love to me"

"As you wish" Chandler grinned.

Authors Note: Well this was terribly boring to write. Xxx Good night guys! Xxx


	9. Crazy in Love

Authors Note: ghfriends wanted to help so heres 8x4!

Delightful (8x04)

Chandler walked in, turned to his wife and asked;

"Have you seen Rachel today?"

"No, I haven't seen her for a couple of days"

Monica turned around. "We have to check on her, something might be wrong." Both of them turn towards Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler goes to open the door.

"Don't be rude, you should at least knock." Monica says to her Husband.

"Well, of course knocking has become a vital part of our friendships throughout the last eight years." Chandler smiles to himself before walking in. He sees Joey sat there watching die hard.

"How many times have you watched that film?" Monica asks Joey.

"It doesn't matter, never too many times" Joey then checks how far through he is. "And the TV dinner bit is coming up."

"He knows that." Chandler said " But when you ask him the name of the girl he first had sex with..."

"hey!, It began with an A... or and E... You know what, at least I know it was a vowel, and I know it was last day at Elementary in the girls changing rooms." Joey said in defence.

"Sex in the shower first time, Good Joe!" Chandler applauds his best friend.

" Stop it you two, we are here for a reason." Monica butts in to Joey and Chandler's conversation.

" You wanna threesome with me and Rachel, nice!" Joey says standing up.

Chandler sits down. "Offering to my wife to cheat on me whilst I'm in the room, and with my best friend. Smooth Joe!

" Hey, I'm offering that my girlfriend cheats on me!" Joey says in weak defence.

" Face it Joe, that's been your fantasy ever since Rachel turned up in that wedding dress." Chandler points out.

"And I get to be in it! Oh wait, didn't you say there was something important?" Joey says.

"Yeah Joe, We haven't seen Rach in days. What's up with her?." Monica asks

"She has this horrible sicky bug, I haven't been doing any extra scenes on DOOL for a few days so I can look after her, she hasn't been to work either." Joey explained.

Chandler then says: "Sorry to leave you to your Die Hard, but we've got Laundry to do."

"You don't have to call it that anymore, everyone knows about you." Joey says.

"We know, but we're civilised enough to not do sexual things in the open, like teaching Rachel how to play a back hand whilst you were very much Fore handing her!" Chandler tells Joey.

"well we both have one now, that gets feisty. We keep..." Joey said before he was cut off.

" That's enough Joe, we don't need to hear this!" Monica exclaimed.

Both Monica and Chandler exit joey's apartment.

"he's crazy kinky, those two make us look Victorian. They're getting close to Phoebe level!" Monica said.

'Well the balcony is..." Chandler began.

Monica then shouted. "NO!"

Back in Joey and Rachel's apartment.

The phone rings, Joey picks it up.

"Hey Joe."

"Hey Ross" Joey replied. "What dinosaur bone do you want to talk about now?

"It's not a dino story Joey, it's more about something your good at." Ross answered.

" What is it?" Joey asked

"Can I just come over and talk about it?" Ross asked back nervously.

"sure man, see you here."

Ross is now at Joey's

"So you need a way to get Mona to sleep with you tonight?" Joey asked.

"Yeah." Ross replied.

" You need to do the trick I used when me and Chandler went to the Knicks game and there was this girl that had the biggest Breasts."

"Chandler and I." Ross corrects Joey.

"What?" Joey asks, looking confused.

"You said me and Chandler, you should have said Chandler and I." Ross told Joey.

"Listen Ross, If you correct my grammar again, not only will you not hear the backpacking story, you'll leave with a black eye." Joey said, in a slightly raised voice.

"Sorry Joe, I don't know why I do that. Anyway, tell me the story." Ross said impatiently.

"ok here goes." Joey said in preparation. "Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing, and there was a lake, very secluded, and there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw, a beautiful woman, bathing herself. but she was crying..."

"How much more is there? Because I think I should write this down." Ross said.

At Monica and Chandler's. About 10 minutes later.

"I bet it was your jokes, they're not even funny anyway." Monica said. "Hey! You can't take away humour, humour is all I've got. And I bet it was your constant questions." Chandler hit back.

"was it really?" Monica asked.

"That's another annoying question!" Chandler Shouted.

"well it was followed by another joke!" Monica replied again. Ross and Joey walk in, followed by Phoebe.

"Hey you three! We need you to answer a question for us!" Chandler and Monica both shout whilst running in.

"Wow guys! Calm down!" Phoebe replied.

"The couple we met on our honeymoon haven't called us!" They both said.

"Wrong numbered" Phoebe and Joey both say in unison whilst nodding their heads.

"probably wrong named as well!" Joey said after.

"We kind of guessed it to be fair." Chandler said. "Monica was asking loads of annoying questions."

" No it was his fault!" Monica shouted. "His jokes were worse than usual." Phoebe nodded her head at the comment. But Joey and Ross look puzzled.

" You don't find Chandler funny?" Ross asked.

"Not really." Phoebe replied.

"his humour must be a guy thing then." Joey said.

" How could they have fake-named us? They were so quick." Chandler asked

Phoebe quickly responds, turning to Joey. "Hello, I'm Regina Phalange." Joey then replied quickly. "Kenneth Adams, but you can call me Ken."

" wow you're good!" Ross said in surprise at his friends.

The end credits play.

The next day

Rachel is in Monica's living room with all the other friends, but with a bathrobe round her.

"The backpacking story didn't work Joe." Ross said sadly.

" The idea behind the story is that you can keep them quiet for long enough to tell it, it didn't work for me either." Chandler said.

Rachel then says, coughing slightly in between words: "I swear Joey didn't make that up, My friend told me it was a story some guy told her once."

"That was me." Joey says.

"It can't have been, she said his name was something beginning with K." Rachel replies.

" Ken Adams?" Joey then says to Rachel. "That was me."

"Why did you tell my friend a fake name?" Rachel asked.

"I had already slept with her sister, I was scared she would know who I was when I said my name so I made it up." Joey said, answering Rachel's queries. They all stared at Joey.

"Well they were both really Hot!" Joey said in defense.

 _To be ccontinued..._


	10. Chapter 10

Hi I'm really sorry I haven't continued this in a year but to be honest I don't like Friends like I used to and my stories don't get reviews, it's very painstaking.

I do have an intent to continue one day but I really don't know when I'm sorry.

Maybe one day. You know what, maybe if this this gets enough reviews I'll continue but for right now no.

Thanks,

Christyanna (Chrissy)


	11. Chapter 11

Hi this is not a chapter. I'm sorry once again.

I still don't have my muse back for this show and thus it's totally impossible to get back to writing about it.

I will try but there's no guarantee.

And also I have the worst writers block ever. I tried watching 8x5 and rereading the chapters. But I can't seem to write anymore.

Yes, I am highly intelligent but my memory isn't that good anymore.

Maybe you guys can give ideas or want to collabrate since all of the helpers for this story haven't replied back in a year which makes it hard and this isn't an easy story for him since I have to change so many things.

PM or review with ideas and if you want to help out.

Thanks,

Christyanna (Chrissy)

P.S, this story has 6,323 views but only 10 reviews and 3 follows & favorites. Why so many views but so little reviews, follows & favorites? I don't get it but I guess it's ok. I don't see what the big deal is about this story if none of you will tell me what it is.


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